Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
