I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
