I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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