cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
