Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
