I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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