If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
