was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you will always have a special place in my vag
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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