You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
