They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
