maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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