How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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