You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Small penises have feelings too.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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