ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize