yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
