I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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