we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
