they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
