So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
