It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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