First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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