apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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