judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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