dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
