Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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