just survived the first fart of the relationship.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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