Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dignity is for republicans.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
