elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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