hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
