did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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