I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
