If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize