theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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