I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
