no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
