We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My pussy is not your playground.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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