The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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