And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
