So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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