went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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