I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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