p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
