Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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