He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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