you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
