Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
tell me about the fingering
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