just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
