we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
