My nipple is on Facebook.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
