Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
