im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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