he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
