I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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