I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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