when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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