You just made me feel so damn special
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
