you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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