He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
