dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.