can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.