I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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