Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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