Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
