Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
