Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
50% drunk capacity currently
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
