ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
